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Post by Melanie Jane Bush on Feb 27, 2010 22:24:27 GMT
ATTACK OF THE PRETTY PEOPLE
Iris Wilthyme and her faithful companion Panda are visiting Monsieur de Carnac, and his world-famous beauty parlour. Iris is looking forward to a little R+R, while Pands just wants to get away for a bit. But there's something wrong. Who is the mysterious female owner of hte Beauty Parlour? Why are the patients coming out as brand new people, literally? And who is the strange Norhtern girl who appears to want to shut down the place?
When the Doctor turns up, one hting is sure. All hell is going to break loose...
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Post by patientzero on Feb 28, 2010 10:57:41 GMT
Iris slumped into the driving seat of her bus, groaning. "I thought that would never be over," she sighed. "You're telling me," Panda snapped, "Look at the state of me! I look like Hermann Goering's miserable older sister!" "I met her once," Iris said, smiling at the memory, "She taught me to play Mornington Crescent, don'cha know." "Does it matter?" Panda demanded. "Nope," Iris replied, "Pour me a G&T would you, pet?" "I am not a pet!" Panda sqauwked, his voice rising several octaves. "Do we need to go over terms of affection again?" Iris asked, like a very patient mother. Panda glared at her. Iris sighed, "Perhaps we both need to relax a bit after that business with the Nullifier. At least it's been destroyed." Iris tapped a few buttons on the dashboard and the bus' Head-up display engaged, a hologrammatic star map being projected onto the windscreen. "Let's see," Iris said, scrolling through hologrammatic lists to a search screen. "Relaxation." Several thousand glowing dots appeared on the star map. "At least we've got a lot of choice," she said, approvingly, glancing at a list of destinations. "Paradise 5, Chelsea 426, Monsieur de Carnac's, Madame Butter Beauty Parlour, oh..." "What?" Panda asked. "Winke Wonderland. Old Sigmund would have a field day if we brought him along..." "Don't even think about it," Panda snapped. Iris glanced at the list again, "Bliss, Dellah, Ottiria-" "I'm not going back there," Panda said, "The otters are too studious." "Ooo," Iris said, enlarging a window about Mosieur de Carnac's, "Look at this Panda - a total sensory emulsion..." "Shouldn't tat be immersion?" Panda asked. "No - it deifnitely says emulsion. Maybe that's just what we need." "If you say so," Panda sighed. "I do," Iris said, and activated the bus controls. It dematerialised, leaving the fountain where it had been standing in. Unfortunately, it's presence had blocked the water outlet, causing pressure to build up in the system. So when the bus left, it was accompanied by a massive explosion of water, drenching anyone standing nearby.
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Post by captainjock on Feb 28, 2010 14:24:53 GMT
Meanwhile...
Captain Jock gazed around the reception of Carnac's with awe "I allus say you can't be a bit of Art Deco !" he said to no one in particular " He walked over to the reception desk . " Oui Monsieur ? " said the girl behind the desk . "Morning Lassie " said Jock " I've got a room booked . I find myself suddenly single again , so I've signed up for your intensive weight loss program .. There's a little chickadee i've got my heart set on .. But she will'ne give me the time o'day unless i lose a few pounds . " many many kilo " thought the receptionist to herself but kept her own counsel . If you would just sign ze register monseiur ... There's a welcome pack in your room. "OK , Lassie , if you can just point me to the lifts ? " " There are no lifts , Monseiur , it is all part of the healthy lifestyle !" Jock looked at his Key fob " Room 213 ah, ll never mek it " "Well , there is the service elevator , But it weel be a tight squeeze , if you would walk this way . " I'd rather watch you walk that way hen " thought jock as he followed her into the kitchens ..
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Post by patientzero on Mar 5, 2010 18:02:33 GMT
Iris stepped out of the bus, surveying the lobby of Carnac's. "See, Panda," she said, sweeping her arms around the room, "You can't beat a bit of art deco!" "It's a bit..." Panda began. "A bit what?" "Gouache." "I like it," Iris said, ignoring Panda's last remark, "Nice and sparkly." "Excuse moi?" said a polite, french-accented female voice, "It's not polite to park in the fountains." Iris turned to see a receptionist standing at the doors to the kitchens, next to a large man. Iris' eyes immediately widened. "Well I'll be horn-swoggled!" said the man. "Your personal life is no concern of ours," said Panda. "Shut up, Panda," Iris said, "And get back on the bus. Now." "Do you know that man?" "I'll say I do!" "Go on then." "I do! I hoped I'd never see him again." "But who is he?" Panda demanded. "Captain Jock Strap," Iris said, a heavy, weary, forebodeing note in her voice.
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Post by captainjock on Mar 12, 2010 11:09:15 GMT
" Iris , Lassie " said the Captain " You're not leaving already? ...Ye only jus' got here ! " Iris drew herself up to her full 5ft 3 inches . " Are you stalking me ? " She demanded irately . " anyway , what are you doing here? " " Ahm here for the Intensive weight loss and total body restyling program " the captain replies " I thought if i looked a little more like him " he picks up a magazine and points to a picture of Denys Moonraker , the popular holo- vid star of the 28th century ." ye might give me a chance ? " " They're dieticians and beauticians not miracle workers pet " Iris sneered . " I'd be obliged if you keep out of my way while i'm here !. " " och , ye're a cruel heartless woman Iris Wildthyme " The captain sobbed " after all the good times we had On Herwalius and Raxa ... raxa .. . " Raxacoricofalapatorius! " Chorused Iris and Panda "Whatever ! " Iris snorted . " Now you girl " She turned to the receptionist " kindly arrange for my bus to be lifted out of the fountain , then my companion and I would like a room as far away from that person as possible ! also does the Shadow Proclamation have a bureau here ? I need to make enquiries about a restraining order ! " Och Iris , You're breaking my heart , Jock wailed " will ye no kiss me under the fountain? " " I wouldn't kiss you under anaesthetic , mate ! Iris replied . she turned to the girl " another thing girl , where's the bar ? after all this annoyance I'm direly in need of a stiff one !" She threw a backward glance at the captain as she stomped off " Don't say it - Don't even think it ! Pervert ! " ................. The Service Elevator slowly arrived at floor 20 .... a long coridor was directly outside it . " Your suite is at ze end of ze corridor Monsieur " The receptionist gasped as Jock squeezed his bulky frame past her " sacre bleu , you are pleased to see me " " No lassie , thats my little snifter " " I have heard it called many things Cherie " she glanced down at the bag Jock was carrying " Oh you mean ze alcohol ! I am afraid i must confiscate zat ! Eet is not allowed on the program you have signed up for ! " Jock sighed " ohh no , not my Whisky ! " but handed it over .. " I will bid you au revoir Monseiur " the girl said " here is your key , mind ze walkway " " What walkway ? " asked the Captain as the lift doors closed the floor began to move - In the wrong direction ... " Oh No ! Jock wailed again " What I have to suffer to win the heart of fair Iris ! " as he slowly pulled himself against the motion of the floor using the handrails along the corridor...
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Post by Melanie Jane Bush on Mar 14, 2010 5:32:08 GMT
"Yeah, Doctor, I'll watch out for any suspicious activity, don't you worry about it," said Lucie, walking down the corridor confidently, despite the fact that it was moving her backwards. She put down her mobile phone, and slipped it into her pocket, and was about to turn around, and go back down into the beauty parlour, when she saw a group of familiar-looking faces. "Iris!" she said happily, throwing her arms out welcomingly, "How are you?" Walking down towards the female Time Lady, Lucie put on her best smile, as she saw who Iris was accompanied by. "Who's this, then?" she said nervously, looking down at Panda. He smiled back at her, and then waved. "Lucie!" shouted Iris heatily, "Good to see ya, m'dear, good to see ya." Seeing Panda's confused expression, her face changed to an expression of realisation. "Oh, right, Panda love, this is Lucie Miller. Lucie, this is my friend Panda." "Right. That'd be you, travelling aorund with a toy bear". Ignoring Panda's indignant look, Lucie continued to chatter. "So, what brings you to De Carnac's?"
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Post by captainjock on Mar 15, 2010 10:30:27 GMT
on floor 20 the receptionist popped her head back out of the lift . " press ze button " Monseiur " she said gesturing to the two buttons outside every door on the corridor
De gauche A droite
The captain read. he pressed one and the floor moved in the wrong direction even faster as he passed the next door he jabbed at the second button frantically . the floor shot forward violently depositing him in a heap outside his room . In the room Jock looked around glumly . " I've seen better apointed dungeons!" he said disconsolately " still it's all in a good cause .. ! " Suddenly the view screen flickered into your life " You there ! a stern disapproving woman in her late 30's spoke . Get changed . " Physical jerks on the tennis courts in 15 minutes " Chop chop .. " Jock stuck his tongue out " I saw that Mr Strap " said the instructor " I do hope you're not going to be a troublemaker . ! " The screen faded to black. " Jock picked up the phone " Hello reception ? I'd like to order some flowers for a very special lady .. "
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Post by patientzero on Mar 15, 2010 21:11:50 GMT
"Well, Lucie, Chuck," Iris said as they headed down the corridor, "After that business with the Nullifier, I thought Panda and I could do with a little rest and relaxation, and I was eager to try out the TSE - that's Total Sensory Emulsion, despite the presence of that retarded Jock. Although, knowing my luck it's a trap set by the Mistress to try and kill me. She's done that sort of thing in the past, y'know." "The Mistress is Iris' arch nemesis," Panda supplied, happily sitting in Lucie's handbag - having first made it clear that he was no stuffed toy, before accepting a lift to 'spare his legs'. "Indeed," Iris agreed, hardly letting Lucie get a word in edgeways, "I remember this one time when the Mistress tried to use the Lurker at the Threshold to break into the restricted section of the Library of Ottiria, but I put a stop to them!" "What?" Lucie frowned, "that's what the Doctor and me did just before we came here!" "Oh the Doctor's here is he?" Iris visibly perked up, grinning ear to ear, "This is just what we needed, eh Panda?" "Indeed," Panda said, "The Doctor and Miss Lucy certainly seem much nicer company than that Captain Jock Strap character. The plebian." "Couldn't agree more," Iris said absently, before turning back to Lucie, "So how is the old rascal? I knew he couldn't stay away from me!" As the trio headed towards their rooms, none of them noticed the statue in the alcove they had just passed. It was a statue very similar style to those found in Ancient Greece or Rome, depicting a muscular young man in the rain. Of course, the statue was bare-chested - it was a great way to get people to notice it - but that wasn't the point. Security in De Carnac's was quite low, and the reason for this became clear when the statue turned its head and stared at Iris and Lucie's retreating backs, mechanisms placed in its head analysing them, scanning them, cataloguing them. Panda glanced back, and could have sworn that the statue had changed position. It was probably just a trick of the light, he told himself, and turned back to Iris, who was telling Lucie about a fantastic cocktail recipie she'd learned on Grilista Social, which could knock three Raxacoricofallapatorians under the table with one sip. The worst she'd had was a mild headache.
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Post by Melanie Jane Bush on Mar 16, 2010 9:27:15 GMT
"Ahh, so there you are, my dear Lucie..." said The Headhunter, watching interestedly on a TV screen set into the intricate wall in front of her. She pressed a button, and zoomed after her, continuing to watch intently. Lucie herself was of no importance, of course. The stupid girl could go and rot, for all the Headhunter cared. No, it was the woman with her she was interested in. Her sensors were detecting that she was a Time Lady. Which meant one of two things. Either The Doctor had had a sex change during a regeneration, or this was a different member of his race. The second option seemed more likely, and that made the Headhunter very happy. Everything was playing into her hands...
Lucie and Iris were now sat happily in the bar, with Panda sitting on the table slurping noisily from both their glasses. All present had much to discuss, and were now proceeding to do so in the most noisy manner possible. "So here we are, standing in front of this bloody great chimpanzee, and The Doctor's doing this little dance while trying to communicate with it. Oh my god, I'd never seen anything so stupid!" said Lucie, smiling like a loon. Iris cackled, banging her hand repeatedly on the table. "Oh, he always was a card, was The Doctor," said Iris heartily. She turned to look at Lucie, smiling. "Where is her, by the way?" Lucie looked from side to side suspiciously, as though expecting trouble. Then, she leaned over the table, and spoke to Iris in a conspiratorial manner. "I've been sent by him to investigate this beauty parlour. He reckons there's something strange going on here." Suddenly, the doors burst open, and the three heads sat at the table turned to look. Coming through the doors was Captain Jock.
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Post by captainjock on Mar 16, 2010 10:38:06 GMT
The Captain plonked himself down on a nearby chair " Dinnae start Iris ! , He panted " I just need to get ma breath back , That Miss Harridan is a total slavedriver ..Touch your toes she said , I haven'ae even seen my toes for 15 years ! " he mopped his brow sweating profusely ... " Hello Captain " said Lucie cautiously " I didn't expect to see you here ! a pie shop yes , but a health spa ? ! " " well knock me over with a Gimblechooks feather it's wee Lucie ! "the captain exclaimed " how are you hen ? Fully recovered from your microwaving on Herwalius I hope " " Yeah " said Lucie " although my radio won't pick up Supernova FM anymore ! anyway be careful Captain there have been some very strange disappearances around here ! " The waitress brought over the captains lunch which consisted of a lettuce leaf and a glass of carrot juice . "Carrot Juice " he exclaimed . and burped " how common ! "sniffed Panda " is she working you with her hand , Sooty ? " Jock retorted glancing at Iris . Sooty ! Sooty ! said Panda dangerously showing his claws " why I " The doors flew open again " Mr Strap ! " yelled Miss Harridan " 20 lengths of the pool . NOW ! " " It's CAPTAIN Strap actually ! "murmured Jock " I didn't work my way up the ranks of the Time agency to be called Mr. " as he followed the instructor . " Why did you have to tell him about the disappearances ? Said Iris " I was rather hoping he might disappear himself ! " Be fair , Iris " said Lucie " he's saved our lives on more than one occasion ! Iris harrumphed noncommitally . " yes , well ... " at that moment the doors flew open again..
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Post by Melanie Jane Bush on Mar 16, 2010 21:33:29 GMT
Flying into the bar was a very familiar face. Lucie stood up, her face going red. "Karen!" she yelled, stalking across the wooden floor, "What the hell are you doing here?" Karen looked slightly shell-shocked, and, in absence of anything else to do, smiled goofily. "Lucie!" she cried happily, "Fancy meeting you here!" Lucie pouted, and put her hands on her hips. "So, I guess the Headhunter's here, then. And, knowing her, she's probably behind the disappearances, too." Karen put her arms around Lucie, and directed her back over to the table where Iris and Pands were sitting. "Well, no, actually. I've just been dropped off here, for a bit of a holiday!" "Rubbish. The Headhunter never just 'drops you off for a holiday'". "Who's this Headhunter person?" asked Panda, his arms crossed interestedly. Lucie patted him on the head. "I'll explain later," she told him. Ignoring the annoyed expression on his monochrome face, she turned back to Karen. "So... Where is she, then?" "Who?" asked Karen, eyes flicking from side to side. "The Headhunter, of course!" yelled Lucie. "I told you! She's not here!" Lucie sighed, and rolled her eyes. "OK, then, you win. I'll believe you for the moment. First sign of trouble, though, I blame you for everything. Got it?" Karen's nod told her everything she needed to know.
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Post by captainjock on Mar 17, 2010 11:19:44 GMT
some time later .that evening ..
Captain Jock wearily dragged himself into the bar ..... and ordered a large orange juice . What he really wanted was a large Hyper- Vodka but Miss Harridan had warned that her spies were everywhere .. Lucie waved " Captain , come and join us ! " She said ignoring Iris's irate glare .. " Ladies , Rupert ! " He said easing his hefty frame into the protesting upholstery .... " For the last time my name is Panda !" said Panda crossly . " Have we met ? " The Captain said to Karen " You look awfy familiar ! " " I don't think so " She replied .... You must be mistaking me for someone else .. "Hmmm " said the captain but did not pursue the matter .." Iris , Did you get the flowers i ordered ? " " Yes I did you great oaf " Iris snapped " I distinctly remember telling you on Herwalius that i suffer from hayfever " She sneezed several times " and to add insult to injury a bee flew out and stung Panda on the... well , i won't say but you notice he's standing up ! You're a public menace Strap ! The door to the bar opened and Miss Harridans gimlet eyes .homed in on Jock .. " Mr Strap , time for your Irrigation " " Oh Must I " said Jock " I was talking to my friends ! " " as you wish " said Miss Harridan " Of course , Non co- operation with my instructions means instant expulsion from the program and NO REFUNDS " " Aw , Verry well " said Jock and followed her out of the bar disconsolately . " FRIENDS ! " Snorted Panda and Iris derisively .. Suddenly there was a commotion outside " You want to put what where ?!? " they heard the captain exclaim . he came rushing back into the bar folowed by Miss Harridan and half a dozen orderlies " Hold him , boys " she said preparing a syringe . " It's for his own good ! " Miss Harridan said to Iris and her entourage .. " Shouldn't we do something ? " asked Karen " Yes Indeed ! Said Iris " Hyper - Vodkas all round - your turn to pay i believe ? "
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Post by patientzero on Mar 19, 2010 20:19:27 GMT
Some time later....
Iris and Lucie staggered down the corridor, the hyper-vodkas having done their work. The effects of the alcohol had been exacerbated by the pan-galactic gargle blasters, molotov cocktails, 'six-parts-gin-to-one-part-vermouth' and spiked carrot juice that Iris had insisted on drinking. "...and I can only assume it was destroyed with the city," Iris was saying, recounting one of her many adventures. "Destroyed?" Lucie inquired, not nearly as drunk as the Time Lady she was helping along the hall. They had left Panda with Jock, who was a few floors down trying to negotiate the stairs so he could follow them. "Yeah," Iris said, "And a good thing too. If the Mistress had got her filthy mitts on the Cintamani Stone, who knows what she could have done!" They continued down the hall, passing the alcove with the statue of the shirtless young man, not noticing that it had changed position again. "I think I met him once," Iris said, nodding at the statue, "Or someone very like him." "Oh," Lucie said, "Do tell." "It was on Celeano," Iris recalled, "He was quite good-looking. I played strip mornington crescent with him until the Doctor intervened to stop us. I'd almost won too," she added bitterly, "I still go hot and cold when I re-run the video." "So this guy travelled with the Doctor?" "Yeah," Iris said as they rounded the corner - and walked straight into a group of statues. "Mind where you're going!" Iris snapped, swaying on her feet. "Iris..." Lucie said, recognising the statues, "It's the beared ladies..." "Oh," Iris realised, "Okay, Lucie, I have experience with this sort of thing, so when I say run, run!" Ahead of you there, Lucie thought, and began to pull Iris in the opposite direction - only to slam into the staute of the young man, her face impacting the centre of his bare chest. On any other occasion, she would not have complained, but this one was made of stone and quite painful. And there was the point that they were trapped. The statues advanced...
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Post by captainjock on Mar 22, 2010 10:58:17 GMT
about 5 floors down , Panda and Jock were gingerly negotiating another flight of stairs ( Panda was of course much fitter than Jock but the Stair Risers were quite deep . ) When Lucie and Irises agitated screams floated down the stairwell ... "What can we do ! " We Must help them ! " exclaimed Panda Jock fiddled with his Vortex Manipulator " This thing wasnae designed for short hops ! " he protested " Hop up on my shoulder laddie and hold tight .. ! They rematerialised On the floor where Iris and Lucie were under siege .. Iris was furiously belabouring the statues with her handbag .. Jock fumbled for his Roundness gun " Oh No , he said to himself " Impounded for the duration of my stay !" " Iris " He hollered " Take my hand " " This is no time for your clumsy advances Captain Strap ! " Iris yelled " can't you see we're in mortal danger !? " " Do as ye're told Woman ! "the captain growled and grab hold Of wee Lucie too ! " Dumbfounded at Jock's sudden masterfulness Iris complied ... Jock swiftly reprogrammed the V.M and they materialised in his room .. He looked at his V.M .. Battery low .. looks like we're stuck here for the moment .. " " Oh Great " said Iris " trapped in a bedroom with you , i think I'll take my chances with the statues .! " She opened the door and promptly slammed it shut again . " Maybe not , They're here already ! unless its another lot ! " She locked the door " Captain , Lucie , we need to create a barricade . Then I need to think of a plan ! " But Jock was not listening " Ah Dinnae feel so good . ! " he moaned .. he lay on his back clutching his stomach .. beneath his shirt there was a squirming and a squealing noise could be heard .
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Post by Melanie Jane Bush on Mar 25, 2010 5:54:43 GMT
Suddenly, the door burst open, and in walked The Doctor. His hands were deep inside his bottle-green coat, and he was whistling. "Doctor!" yelled Lucie from across the room, "Where the hell have you been?" "Oh, here and there," he said absent-mindedly, "Just thought I'd pop in for a visit". Suddenly, he appeared to register the rest of the occupants of the room. "Iris! Panda! Captain... Jock, wasn't it?" Iris was laughing madly, while Panda sat on Jock's stomach, which was now wobbling menacingly. "Doctor! Here you are! Don't suppose you'd care to get us out of here, would you?" she asked, walking over to him. "Yeah. Doctor, you asked to hear about any suspicious activity. You may not have noticed, but there's a bunch of walking statues outside." "Oh, them!" laughed The Doctor, "You don't need to worry about them. They're friends of mine. I sent them here to keep an eye on you." "What?" said Lucie sarcastically, "Don't you trust me?" "No, no, nothing to do with that... I was worried about you, and needed back-up." "So what have they gone rampant for?" asked Lucie. "You must be in danger..." said The Doctor, "What were you doing?" "Well, me and Iris here were having a drink", said Lucie, "Then, we were going to try out Monsieur De Carnac's miraculous treatments!" "Hmmm..." replied The Doctor, deep in thought, "YOu know, I think we're going to have to have a look at these treatments. " Without another word, he turned, and left the room. Lucie and Iris walked out, Iris carrying Panda. Captain Jock lay on his bed, sweating profusely.
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Post by patientzero on Mar 25, 2010 16:32:00 GMT
Iris was disappointed that they couldn't try any treatments, but they had been drinking for half the evening, so it wasn't really surprising that the spa had been closed until the next morning.
The next morning, Iris and Lucie were breakfasting with Panda. "The Doctor said he had a really bad feeling about this place," Lucie was saying, "Like some big presence in his mind." "Odd," Iris remarked, "I can't feel anything." "Why doesn't that surprise me?" Panda muttered. "Anyway, he was going to try and break into de Carnac's lab," Lucie continued, "Get a look at the treatments, while I was up here as backup. But yesterday... with those statues... he just seemed to have forgotten everything we'd been planning." "Where is the Doctor?" Panda asked. Iris realised he was right - they hadn't seen the Doctor since he walked out of the room the night before. "Maybe he's trying to break into the lab," Iris suggested. Any speculation on the Doctor's wherabouts ended abruptly as Captain Jock Strap walked into the cafeteria. There was a loud clunk as Iris' lower jaw hit the floor. Then there was another clunk as Lucie's did the same. "What the hell's happened to you?" Iris asked, not believing her eyes. "Surely that can't happen this fast..." Lucie stammered, "Just how much weight have you lost?" "And how much muscle have you gained?" Iris asked, "I mean... blimey... Jock, you've turned pretty!"
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Post by captainjock on Mar 25, 2010 18:11:45 GMT
"I prefer Handsome actually lassie !" said The Captain " I woke up like this , last thing i remember was seeing these little fat baby aliens nipping into a mousehole in my room .. " Iris Moved her chair closer " you could turn a girls head " she simpered ... " Aw , stop chasing me woman ! The Captain grinned .. " Waitress , Can i have a Carrot Juice and a Caesar Salad please ? " Then i think 40 lengths of the pool would be in order , anyone care to join me ? " " I'll pass this time pet " said Iris patting his hand in a friendly manner " still a little hungover don't ya know .. " " It's not just his body thats changed " Lucie whispered to Panda " his whole personality seems to have altered ... " The Captain finished his breakfast and took his leave " Whatta man ! " Iris gushed "you could bounce a 10 Grotzi piece off that rear bumper " " Iris " said Panda " stop drooling , it isn't very lady like ! "
Elsewhere ...... Jock awoke with a start ... he seemed to be incarcerated in some kind of sensory deprivation tank .. tubes entering his arms and legs at various points ... leather straps securing his wrists and ankles " I dinnae remember reading about this in the brochure ! " he muttered to himself ... Craning his neck he tried to gnaw at the strap on his left wrist...
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Post by patientzero on Mar 28, 2010 14:31:03 GMT
Jock froze as he saw a figure moving outside the tank. He couldn't hear it - just see it. Then, a glowing blue liquid appeared in the tubes, sliding through them... towards him. As consciousness began to fade, the roof of the tank opened, and the figure leaned over him. It was Monsieur de Carnac. "The serum is entering his body," said de Carnac, "If all goes well, we can return him upstairs and remove the duplicate. If not, both can be disposed of. Although we'll have to make the duplicat's death look like an accident." I am familiar with the protocol, de Carnac. "Ah, of course you are. I apologise." It does not matter. The effects of the serum upon the Doctor require analysis. De Carnac sighed. It will happen soon, de Carnac, promised the voice, Soon, you shall have the secret of Shambhala. Then Jock lost all vestiges of consciousness remaining.
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Post by captainjock on Mar 29, 2010 10:51:32 GMT
In the bar Iris was accompanying The Captain On the piano , both heartily rendering a selection of Gilbert & Sullivan arias .... " She's completely taken in ! " grumbled Lucie to Panda " She seems to have completely forgotten the real reason i'm here .. ! The Captain and Iris took a break ... "Oh , I did enjoy that ! " gushed Iris " I never knew you were so talented , Captain ! " " How about lunch ? " enquired The Captain "My Treat ? " " That's very kind of you " said Lucie " But Panda and i thought we'd take a stroll around the grounds... didn't we Panda ? "she said trying to surreptitiousdly wink at Panda . " what ? said Panda nonplussed " Oh , yes , very bracing ... ! We'll leave you " Lovebirds " to it then " said Lucie " Mmm , whatever ! Iris relied distractedly, gazing adoringly into The Captains eyes .. .. Outside the bar , Panda headed for the main entrance .. " Psssst " hissed Lucie " this way " " But i thought " ?? Panda answered . "NO " said Lucie " We're going up to Jock's room to investigate . Something is very wrong ! "
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Post by patientzero on Apr 4, 2010 21:40:10 GMT
"When you say 'very wrong'," Panda said, tired, "Do you mean what I think you mean?" "Very probably," Lucie said as they hurried up to Jock's room, "If you're thinking what I think you think I mean." "I shouldn't have asked," Panda muttered. Eventually, they reached the room - Lucie had to carry Panda up the stairs. Lucie reached for the door handle. The lock was hanging out. In pieces. "It's open..." "Bad news?" Panda asked, "I don't see why I had to come along. I could be enjoying another crumpet while composing my aria!" "Oh quit whining," Lucie chastised, "So let's see who's got the same idea as us..." She pushed open the door. "Ah... Lucie..." "Karen," Lucie interrupted, "I think you have some explaining to do. One, what the hell are you doing here, and two, why are you taking that statue apart?" "Close the door," Karen said, "We don't want anyone else hearing. Mind that puddle of glowing sick." Lucie glanced down, as did Panda. There was indeed a puddle of glowing sick. "Thanks," she said - as Karen barged past her, knocking her against a wall, and running out of the door.
Meanwhile...
"Oh, Captain," Iris trilled, "I haven't seen a miracle like this since the... oh what was it?" "A miracle?" the Captain asked, glancing sideways at her. "Yeah," Iris said, "You were rather ugly before." The captain feigned hurt. "Not that you are any more," Iris said hurridley, "But I just can't understand what made you... pretty." The captain shrugged. "Must be something in the food." Iris nodded, oddly thoughtful, "Maybe you're right there." "So when did you last see something like this?" "Not sure," Iris hummed, "It'll be in one of my journals. But that can wait - can I get you another Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster? My treat."
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Post by captainjock on Apr 6, 2010 10:07:49 GMT
In the basement .. Jock awoke to find himself strapped to a medi - bed . two gowned and masked figures were busying themselves checking charts and adjusting dials .. " Whit are ye doin'to me ? " He asked weakly ..... feebly attempting to struggle against his bonds .. " Ah , the subject is awake " said Nurse A we can proceed with the hypnotic conditioning shortly .... " " Can ye undo these restraints " pleaded Jock . " I'm no into this kinky stuff ! " " Mr Strap has proved to be an excellent subject " Said Nurse B . " The duplicate has accepted the memory engrams .. to all intents and purposes it sincerely believes it is Captain Strap when Captain Strap is under our control completely It will obey any order transmitted to it " Jock was silent a germ of an idea was formulating in his head ..
In the dining room ... The Captain looked confused for a moment .. " Come to the basement " he slurred slowly " help me Venus " " Venus ? Iris snapped " You're a little confused Captain I'm Iris ! "
In the basement ,Dials went wild on jocks medi - bed .. " Nice try " Nurse A " snapped but only we control the duplicates . Sedate him ! " As Nurse B complied Jock felt himself slipping into unconsciousness once more ...
In the Dining room The Captain apologised profusely .. " i don't know what got into me then . Must be an after effect or something ! " " i'll forgive you this time " Iris assented " Venus indeed ! That womans a disgrace to the name of Wildthyme .. !"
In Jocks room , Lucie was scooping a sample of the glowing vomit into a small container with a teaspoon " Always be prepared Panda ! " she said " It does help that this Jacket the doctor designed for me has dimensionally transcendental pockets .." Panda was standing near the open window trying very hard not to be sick himself as the vomit was giving off a very unpleasant odour . Suddenly the sound of heavy boots running could be heard outside " Quick Panda out the window and take the sample with you " Lucie hissed. " We're 20 storeys up and i suffer from vertigo " Panda moaned " Well of course if you'd rather be caught and tortured " Lucie answered . " You've convinced me " Panda said stepping gingerly onto the ledge outside the corked test - tube clamped in his jaws . Not a moment too soon as four guards burst into the room. " Hello Boys !" said Lucie nervously.
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Post by patientzero on Apr 6, 2010 14:24:54 GMT
The guards said nothing. Lucie nervously backed towards the bathroom, trying to draw the guards away from the window box Panda was hiding inside. If she could get into the bathroom and lock it, than maybe she could use some of the chemicals... Then the first guard shot her.
In the basement...
The nurse picked up her radio, "The duplicate has accepted the engrams, and the empathic link is established. We can use that with the machinery provided." "Yes, nurse," said de Carnac's voice, "I am familiar with protocol. Just use the empathic link to get the information from the hag." "Yes sir."
Meanwhile...
"So," said the Captain, sipping his drink, "Iris, my dear henifiddion, you said you'd seen something like this before?" "What d'you mean?" "My... change," he whispered, "I'd like to know exactly what happened to me." "Well," Iris thought for a moment, "There are a few ways of changing a person's physical form - genetics, makeup, polyfilla, et cetera. But I'm not sure exactly where. I'll have to look through my library." "Maybe we could do it together," the Captain suggested. "Maybe we could," Iris chuckled.
Shortly before the end of lunch...
Lucie woke up. "Hello, Miss Miller," said the Headhunter.
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Post by captainjock on Apr 6, 2010 16:51:26 GMT
Meanwhile ..
having slowly crept gingerly along the ledge until he found another open window Panda had stowed away in an unattended laundry trolley to get back downstairs . having searched all the likely places , he asked for directions to the garage ... upon arriving he found a notice on tLeonardo's door handle " DO NOT DISTURB - RESEARCH IN PROGRESS ! he put his ear to the door and heard Iris giggling girlishly . " Doesn't sound like research to me ! " He grumbled and knocked urgently on the door . " Iris , let me in !" he demanded .. Iris popped her head out . " Just a minute pet .. " " I don't have a minute ! " said Panda barging past her into Leonardo " Lucies in danger and she gave me this Phial for you to analyse .. ! "
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Post by patientzero on Apr 6, 2010 18:57:21 GMT
"And whit might that be, wee man?" the Captain asked, bending down to Panda. "Don't patronise me!" Panda snapped, holding the phial up so Iris could see the glowing vomit within. Iris peered at it, her annoyance at the interruption being replaced with curiosity. "Let me help you with that," the Captain said, and before Panda could object he snatched the phial. He turned to Iris, and started to walk towards her - then tripped over a bottle of Arcuturan Mega-Gin. The phial clattered to the floor... and the Captain fell directly on top of it. The sound of the smash echoed around the bus. The Captain swore, sitting up with glowing vomit encrusting his shirt. Panda was aghast. Jock had deliberately tripped and crushed the phial. Why would he do that? Iris quickly moved in, "Jock dear," she simpered, "I simply must wash that for you! Take it off and leave it with me." "Alright," the Captain sighed, removing his shirt to reveal a muscular torso, "By the way, where's the wee Lucie?" "Of course," Panda said, "I almost forgot - she was abducted, right after we ran into Karen, that girl who Lucie said was with the Headhunter." "The Headhunter?" the Captain seemd to leap up, "The evil wee minx! I'll teach her a lesson!" Then he stalked out of the door, leaving his shirt with Iris. "And now he's gone," Iris said, examining the vomit stain, "We can get this analysed."
Meanwhile...
"I thought she'd been dealt with!" de Carnac snapped. She is containable whenever we choose, said the voice, The Jock duplicate is on his way as we speak. The Headhunter will be removed. Although she's only causing trouble because of you. "Her services were more expensive than I'd thought," de Carnac sighed, "She stuck on a big expenses claim for the collapsing city." She will soon be dealt with, the voice said, and the duplicate can bring Miss Miller down here if you like, to give us another test subject, and possibly another means to get the information from the hag. "You should have let the statues bring her in!" She will reveal all to her friends soon, and then we shall be listening. It was more effective than what you had planned, de Carnac. Even now she is searching for her journal that contains the information - because of the headhunter's re-emergence, we won't see it, but with a Miller duplicate, she'll soon reveal it to us. Just you wait and see.
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Post by captainjock on Apr 8, 2010 10:15:02 GMT
Downstairs .. The Jock duplicate strode purposefully through the kitchens heading for the service elevator .... several kitchen staff wolf whistled .. In the Elevator the captain cupped a hand to his ear . a subcutaneous implant was relaying instructions to him ... " Floor 20 , 4 doors down from Captain Straps suite - I Obey " When the Captain emerged from the elevator a maid was waiting with His roundness Gun , VM and a T - Shirt " that's better " he said , putting on The T - Shirt " I was getting a chill ! " Finding the door to The headhunters room he aimed his weapon and fired creating a perfect circle which he stepped through .. " You could just have knocked ! " the Headhunter exclaimed Irately . The Captain ignored her " Instructions from our employers - You're to bring the girl down to the sub - basement now .. ! " " And If I refuse ? " The Headhunter smirked " I wouldn't recommend it ! " said The Captain brandishing his weapon meaningfully.. Suddenly The Captain crumpled like a sack of potatoes . to reveal Karen standing behind him grasping a very large bust of Denys Moonraker ( The popular Holo - Vid star ) The Headhunter took his pulse . " Just stunned worse luck - I think we'd better re - locate Karen . Bring the Miller Girl ! " Karen dragged Lucie to her feet , surreptitiously loosening the bonds on her wrists slightly in the process ..
Meanwhile aboard Leonardo
" Honestly Panda " said Iris " Did you honestly believe I was taken in for a minute By that Buffed up Doppelganger ? " Panda regarded her quizically . " I've simply been playing along . Dear thing .. Someone around here is playing games .. But they've chosen the wrong timelady to fool with .. " As she was speaking she scraped some of the substance on The Captains shirt onto a slide and studied it under a microscope " But that means " said Panda " that The real captain is a prisoner or worse , don't you think we should rescue him ? " "Eventually... " Said Iris . " and dear Lucie too " She studied the sample " that's very odd - Very odd indeed " She looked again to check her findings " Trouble is i'm not a Bio - chemist like that witch , The Rani .. I can't be sure ... " There was the whirring of a sonic screwdriver and a familiar face popped its head round the door. " Hello you two - having fun ? " Enquired The Doctor.
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